Looking into the eyes of God

           Some five, six years ago I was on a workshop where a workshop leader distributed pictures of Krishna, Supreme Personality of Godhead and asked us to look at the picture and be present to it. It was a time in my life where my spirituality was somewhat shaky and I had more questions then answers, being rather submerged in the many issues of the external, subjects of matter; something that comes along with practical issue of organizations, relationships and life in general even when one tries to walk through it all with spiritual glasses. In short, I was in an need of someone or something that would simply be there, give support, understand and move me on. Which is possibly why I had arrived to that workshop eager and open for miracles.

In a process called arcana, which teaches and practices spiritual relationship with God through different rituals, observing form of God, being present to Him, glorifying Him and praying to Him is part of the path to Bhakti. I was thus familiar with the principle, having been myself a practitioner of arcana for some fifteen year or more at that time.

The above picture is not the picture I had in my hands that day but it is somewhat close to it. While looking at it in a state of silence and presence to it something happened. I was looking into the eyes of God. It was as if healing ray of love poured out of those eyes presenting me with compassion, patience, support, inspiration, presence, presence of love, of that someone who can understand, forgive, accept, help on the way. It was an experience of a conversation, deepest conversation that ever happened without a word uttered. A moment of hearts, if you will. What I hoped, needed, wished, prayed for was at that moment given to me through those eyes.

I must point out that this was not some kind of a miracle moment after which my life became wonderful and all was a dance and smell of roses along the way. No, on the contrary, as I came to learn along the way, when God steps forth world stops being what it was and things start changing in such ways that are at times painful, difficult and confusing. Path of Bhakti has interesting principles that I hope I will get to touch more upon in some coming writings.

But despite not being a miracle reliever of all obstacles, that gaze, that conversation without words was a life changer and a life saver of my spiritual life. A promise. It was a well needed nourishment to the seed of bhakti which started growing in the past years but had some trouble to penetrate that thick layer of somewhat dried earth in the garden of my heart. The creeper of bhakti, although it started sprouting needed some help to break through and that tick dry earth felt as darkness, harshness and confusion.

I had been reminded of those eyes and that moment by a song that came to my mind. That song has a story from a fellow walker of this path, a song that although not having any particular spiritual connection became connected by his own gaze into the eyes of God whereupon the song became words of God. It manifested that which I too, in my own way and suitable to my needs, heard looking at the eyes of Krishna that day.

That story further made me think and reminded me of what others said about it, how so many love songs can be heard as words of a soul to God and apparently as words of God to a soul, if we listen and accept that all forms of love are but fractions and reflections of this one primary connection of a soul and God, relationship of our true self and God.

Eyes, they say, are the window into the soul. God´s soul, if I am to judge from that experience, is a garden of beauty and love. The goal of bhakti is to realize that love between the individual soul and God, love which manifests through different relationships different souls have with God. Looking into the eyes of God that day and any other day I got to it, I have drunk a drop of that love and I move a step closer to manifesting my relationship with Him. It is an amazing and at times somewhat difficult journey as you could imagine a plant would tell you if it could write of it´s life. And that is what I intend to write about, diary of the life of my creeper of Bhakti.

For now, I will leave you with the eyes of Krishna and hope you will drink the beauty and hear the song.